How can a person with painful hemerrhoids have anal sex?
January 20, 2008
Since having hemorrhoid surgery over a year ago, I cannot have anal sex because it is too painful. My lover and I enjoyed it very much before and really miss it in our relationship Do you have any suggestions?
Your problem may not be the hemorrhoids at all, but rather a problem which has resulted since the surgery. For example, you may have an anal fissure (tear). You should visit your "anal doctor" and be honest about your predicament. He will give you a rectal examination, and will be able to address any immediate problems you have. He may also make a few other suggestions for reclaiming your sex life. Don't be bashful that you have sex with men. If you can't speak about that to your doctor, find another one. It's important that you feel able to discuss these issues honestly and openly.
If the doctor gives you a clean bill of health, go out and buy yourself several very small dildos. And by small I don't mean 8"--I mean something more like 2 or 3 inches. Start with the smallest dildo, and gradually stretch yourself out. It is very common for your anus to become tight after surgery, and you won't be able to change that overnight. But over a few weeks gradually work yourself up to a dildo that is the size of your partner. Once you have reached that point and can take the dildo without feeling any pain, let your partner give you a try.
One other suggestion - try making your anal stretching exercises a joint-effort between your lover and yourself. By helping you through these issues he will be a lot more understanding about how you feel when you actually try anal sex again. G'luck!
If the doctor gives you a clean bill of health, go out and buy yourself several very small dildos. And by small I don't mean 8"--I mean something more like 2 or 3 inches. Start with the smallest dildo, and gradually stretch yourself out. It is very common for your anus to become tight after surgery, and you won't be able to change that overnight. But over a few weeks gradually work yourself up to a dildo that is the size of your partner. Once you have reached that point and can take the dildo without feeling any pain, let your partner give you a try.
One other suggestion - try making your anal stretching exercises a joint-effort between your lover and yourself. By helping you through these issues he will be a lot more understanding about how you feel when you actually try anal sex again. G'luck!
