How can I stop worrying whether I will become hard?
January 20, 2008
I have always been able to keep an erection until recently. A guy I was having a relationship with stopped seeing me because he couldn't stay hard during sex. Something must have gone off in my head because now I never know whether my penis is going to stay hard or not. It doesn't seem to be a medical problem as I am healthy 42 and love sex. Help!
It doesn't surprise me that you're having trouble staying hard. Impotence is no reason to end a relationship, but it managed to end yours. The fact yours managed to end makes me wonder if you were unsympathetic or unsupportive about his condition. If you reacted badly to his condition, you're probably expecting your partners to do the same to you. Poetic justice, perhaps. Then again the break-up may have not been your fault.
So let’s begin with the usual battery of questions. Are you diabetic? Are you on any medications? Can you stay hard when you masturbate, or does your erection have trouble then too? Could it be that you're having troubles getting hard because you are with newer partners that don't know your body well? Did you bareback with your prior lover, but are now using condoms with your new partners? These questions can lead to solutions in many different directions.
Assuming medications and diabetes aren't the issue, I'd focus on changes in the way you are having sex. Get to know partners better, spend more time on foreplay, and don't overly focus on activities that require you be hard. Sex can be made to meet the needs of a hard or soft dick; it doesn't have to be the other way around. That's why long-term relationships are easier than one-night stands when you have trouble getting hard. If Mr. Happy is tired one night, simply hold off fucking your lover until the next day.
If worse comes to worse, go see your doctor. A low-dosage prescription for Viagra may do the trick. I don't think you'll need it to come to that point though.
So let’s begin with the usual battery of questions. Are you diabetic? Are you on any medications? Can you stay hard when you masturbate, or does your erection have trouble then too? Could it be that you're having troubles getting hard because you are with newer partners that don't know your body well? Did you bareback with your prior lover, but are now using condoms with your new partners? These questions can lead to solutions in many different directions.
Assuming medications and diabetes aren't the issue, I'd focus on changes in the way you are having sex. Get to know partners better, spend more time on foreplay, and don't overly focus on activities that require you be hard. Sex can be made to meet the needs of a hard or soft dick; it doesn't have to be the other way around. That's why long-term relationships are easier than one-night stands when you have trouble getting hard. If Mr. Happy is tired one night, simply hold off fucking your lover until the next day.
If worse comes to worse, go see your doctor. A low-dosage prescription for Viagra may do the trick. I don't think you'll need it to come to that point though.
