How can I train my ass to get fucked?
January 21, 2008
My boyfriend inserted a dildo in me but I couldn’t take it. He was only able to get the tip of it in when I asked him to stop. Then he tried his own dick and was able to get in for about a minute or so (which didn’t hurt as much). Why was it that when he tried to fuck me with the dildo I couldn’t take it, but when he got inside of me I was able to take him without any problems?
Everyone has different limits on how thick of an object they can take. Most guys are usually able to take an average sized dick though. If you’re finding that even a small dildo is uncomfortable, you may be one of those rare people that can’t even take that. I had one client that couldn’t even take a pinky in his ass without it hurting. That dildo may have been a lot thicker than his dick, too.
His dick hurt less for two reasons. First, the tissue is softer and more malleable than a dildo. So it "gives" more when it pushes up against your sphincter muscles. Second, he started with the dildo and tried his dick a little bit later. That gave your mucles a little more time to relax.
Everyone is a little bit different in what relaxes them. Here’s what I suggest for a novice bottom:
- Use a lube like ForPlay. It has a mild anesthetic in it that helps your ass slightly. (Not good for barebacking with tops that take a long time to cum)
- Start with an easy position. Like laying on your sides. Or lay on your stomach and have him gently lay on top of you and enter you from behind.
- Don’t start with a dildo to loosen you up. Dildos are usually bigger than a guy’s cock. Better to start with the real thing.
- Be aroused. The more turned on you are, the more stimulation your both perceives as pleasure instead of pain. Ideally you will have a nice erection and be excited, not soft and nervous.
- Try some fingering first. Not everyone likes it, but a very slow and patient guy can play with your holes opening them up for several fingers after 10 minutes or so. An "average" thickness dick is usually between two and three fingers thick when fully inserted.
- Take lots of breaks. Your sphincter muscles are used to things leaving your body, not entering. As such, they will periodically clamp down out of reflex. Have your guy pull out of you and let your muscles relax on their own. Usually it takes two or three attempts before the muscles stop tightening.
If anal sex continues to hurt, you may want to try slipping a finger in your own ass. If you spot a particular part of your ass that hurts, you may have a fissure or tear causing your pain. If it doesn’t vanish over a few days you should see your doctor.
His dick hurt less for two reasons. First, the tissue is softer and more malleable than a dildo. So it "gives" more when it pushes up against your sphincter muscles. Second, he started with the dildo and tried his dick a little bit later. That gave your mucles a little more time to relax.
Everyone is a little bit different in what relaxes them. Here’s what I suggest for a novice bottom:
- Use a lube like ForPlay. It has a mild anesthetic in it that helps your ass slightly. (Not good for barebacking with tops that take a long time to cum)
- Start with an easy position. Like laying on your sides. Or lay on your stomach and have him gently lay on top of you and enter you from behind.
- Don’t start with a dildo to loosen you up. Dildos are usually bigger than a guy’s cock. Better to start with the real thing.
- Be aroused. The more turned on you are, the more stimulation your both perceives as pleasure instead of pain. Ideally you will have a nice erection and be excited, not soft and nervous.
- Try some fingering first. Not everyone likes it, but a very slow and patient guy can play with your holes opening them up for several fingers after 10 minutes or so. An "average" thickness dick is usually between two and three fingers thick when fully inserted.
- Take lots of breaks. Your sphincter muscles are used to things leaving your body, not entering. As such, they will periodically clamp down out of reflex. Have your guy pull out of you and let your muscles relax on their own. Usually it takes two or three attempts before the muscles stop tightening.
If anal sex continues to hurt, you may want to try slipping a finger in your own ass. If you spot a particular part of your ass that hurts, you may have a fissure or tear causing your pain. If it doesn’t vanish over a few days you should see your doctor.
