How can I avoid cumming so fast?
January 21, 2008
I am 18 and fool around frequently with a guy. My problem is that when he tries to play with my dick, I automatically blow a load all over. I am just too sensitive. I am definitely not able to have multiple orgasms, and I would like to stay in the mood for more than 10 minutes. I have not being able to stay interested for a long time. My partner can go for 10 times longer than I can, and it has to be frustrating to him that I don’t let him near my dick for fear of me blowing too soon. HELP!!!!
The condition that you describe is premature ejaculation. That’s when a guy cums too fast - they are simply unable to hold back. It frequently causes a person to become upset, irritated, or embarrassed. Less understanding and sympathetic partners may become irritated as well. It is also stressful on the premature ejaculator, because he often becomes convinced that his partner cannot be sexually satisfied because of his condition.
Precisely what causes premature ejaculation varies from person to person. In some people, being extremely horny can cause it to happen. Other times stress, anxiety, or other emotions cause a person to be unable to hold themselves back. This in turn causes more stress, anxiety, etc., which makes the next encounter that much more difficult. PE also affects people differently. Some guys will blow really quickly with all of their partners, while other guys only cum quickly with certain people.
PE affects people of all ages, although young men are most famous for it. The combination of the being at a higher sexual peak along with being nervous, anxious, or excited can cause it. There is nothing “abnormal” or “bad” about having PE. It’s simply a challenge that one needs to work through. Getting upset over it only makes things worse. Relaxing and being comfortable with the encounter often solves much of the problem.
Some people find desensitizing lotions give them some relief. By taking away from some of the stimulation in their dicks, they are able to hold back longer. That doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s often problematic to give oral sex to someone with the mild anesthetic on their dick. Your tongue can go numb, you see, and you wind ub tawking lik dis…
Other couples find that squeezing the head of the man’s dick as he gets excited helps. It pushes some of the blood back out, and can slow him down temporarily. That doesn’t help for everyone, but it does come in handy sometimes.
Some even will jack off the day before or the morning they are going to have sex. This may help for the fellow with the hot escort, but is unlikely to be of terribly helpful use to the young man. (Then again, it’s worth a try. You never know, and there’s plenty of time to recharge before you have sex).
Probably the best suggestion would be to help you learn to recognize your body’s signs of when it is becoming aroused. Think of it as sort of a "sexual self-discipline" routine. Over a period of several weeks with a helpful and understanding partner, start teaching yourself just how much stimulation you can reach before you hit the "point of no return." You probably can’t recognize that point right now - finding it is one of the keys to overcoming premature ejaculation.
With your partner, slowly have him apply stimulation to you. His tongue or mouth, for example. (You might want to master one type of stimulation before you move onto another). Slowly have him arouse you and slow back down. Sooner or later (probably sooner, since we’re talking about cumming quickly), you’ll blow your load. That’s fine. By doing this over a series of sexual sessions you’ll be able to learn just how much stimulation you can have, and how you can slow things down and heat it up over and over. Increased self-mastery will put you at ease, which will give you greater control in other situations.
If you find these aren’t able to help, I suggest you talk to a sex therapist. They have a lot more training into dealing with these issues, and can be of great assistance in helping you overcome this challenge.
There are also prescription medications that can help with the issue, but you will need to speak to your physician for those. Be wary about buying herbal medications and the like, either from stores or the Internet. They may help, but they also are not regulated by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) and may have side effects.
Precisely what causes premature ejaculation varies from person to person. In some people, being extremely horny can cause it to happen. Other times stress, anxiety, or other emotions cause a person to be unable to hold themselves back. This in turn causes more stress, anxiety, etc., which makes the next encounter that much more difficult. PE also affects people differently. Some guys will blow really quickly with all of their partners, while other guys only cum quickly with certain people.
PE affects people of all ages, although young men are most famous for it. The combination of the being at a higher sexual peak along with being nervous, anxious, or excited can cause it. There is nothing “abnormal” or “bad” about having PE. It’s simply a challenge that one needs to work through. Getting upset over it only makes things worse. Relaxing and being comfortable with the encounter often solves much of the problem.
Some people find desensitizing lotions give them some relief. By taking away from some of the stimulation in their dicks, they are able to hold back longer. That doesn’t work for everyone, and it’s often problematic to give oral sex to someone with the mild anesthetic on their dick. Your tongue can go numb, you see, and you wind ub tawking lik dis…
Other couples find that squeezing the head of the man’s dick as he gets excited helps. It pushes some of the blood back out, and can slow him down temporarily. That doesn’t help for everyone, but it does come in handy sometimes.
Some even will jack off the day before or the morning they are going to have sex. This may help for the fellow with the hot escort, but is unlikely to be of terribly helpful use to the young man. (Then again, it’s worth a try. You never know, and there’s plenty of time to recharge before you have sex).
Probably the best suggestion would be to help you learn to recognize your body’s signs of when it is becoming aroused. Think of it as sort of a "sexual self-discipline" routine. Over a period of several weeks with a helpful and understanding partner, start teaching yourself just how much stimulation you can reach before you hit the "point of no return." You probably can’t recognize that point right now - finding it is one of the keys to overcoming premature ejaculation.
With your partner, slowly have him apply stimulation to you. His tongue or mouth, for example. (You might want to master one type of stimulation before you move onto another). Slowly have him arouse you and slow back down. Sooner or later (probably sooner, since we’re talking about cumming quickly), you’ll blow your load. That’s fine. By doing this over a series of sexual sessions you’ll be able to learn just how much stimulation you can have, and how you can slow things down and heat it up over and over. Increased self-mastery will put you at ease, which will give you greater control in other situations.
If you find these aren’t able to help, I suggest you talk to a sex therapist. They have a lot more training into dealing with these issues, and can be of great assistance in helping you overcome this challenge.
There are also prescription medications that can help with the issue, but you will need to speak to your physician for those. Be wary about buying herbal medications and the like, either from stores or the Internet. They may help, but they also are not regulated by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) and may have side effects.
