Why can't I cum while being fucked?
January 21, 2008
I have just started being a bottom for my boyfriend. I enjoy it very much, but I have a problem of not being able to orgasm while he is inside of me. Can you help me?
For starters, what makes you so sure that you have a problem? It's a myth that all bottoms can have orgasms while being fucked. A lot of bottoms can't and have wonderful sex lives anyway. You may fall in that category.
'Course, it might be just that your boyfriend and you need a few helpful tips. For starters, remember that whenever he fucks you, he can do it one of three ways: For your pleasure, for his pleasure, or for both. And while making sure both of you are having fun is a good idea, it's not a bad thing to concentrate on one or the other of you from time to time.
So for starters, have a talk with your lover and tell him you'd like him to help you have an orgasm while being fucked. That means he needs to place you as the center of attention, and not worry about whether he cums or not. Once you are able to cum while being fucked, then you can work out a balance between the two extremes.
When he fucking you, try doing it in positions that allow you to masturbate yourself easily. For example, sitting on his dick while he is laying on his back. Laying on your back while he fucks you with your legs in the air can be another good position. But as I said before, rather than him concentrate on having his own orgasm, he can concentrate on pleasuring you. While you masturbate, he can play with your balls, rub your chest, give you kisses, or however else you like it. Some bottoms like it when their top fucks them and their stomach brushes up against the bottom's balls, too. Find out what you like and worth with it.
While you are masturbating, he may even want to pull out and stop fucking you for a while. Sometimes having a dick in the bottom's ass makes it a bit harder to cum. He can finger you or otherwise work on you, and when you start getting close to cumming he can climb back inside you and start pumping again.
Don't be afraid to start simple, either. This may take a bit of practice between the two of you. There's nothing wrong with sitting on his dick while you jack off, then in the next session trying it again in such a way that he can pump you while you masturbate. Once you are able to cum more regularly, then work his orgasms back into the mixture. Who knows? With a bit of luck and practice you two may even learn to have simultaneous orgasms. You'll find that to be majorly hot. : )
'Course, it might be just that your boyfriend and you need a few helpful tips. For starters, remember that whenever he fucks you, he can do it one of three ways: For your pleasure, for his pleasure, or for both. And while making sure both of you are having fun is a good idea, it's not a bad thing to concentrate on one or the other of you from time to time.
So for starters, have a talk with your lover and tell him you'd like him to help you have an orgasm while being fucked. That means he needs to place you as the center of attention, and not worry about whether he cums or not. Once you are able to cum while being fucked, then you can work out a balance between the two extremes.
When he fucking you, try doing it in positions that allow you to masturbate yourself easily. For example, sitting on his dick while he is laying on his back. Laying on your back while he fucks you with your legs in the air can be another good position. But as I said before, rather than him concentrate on having his own orgasm, he can concentrate on pleasuring you. While you masturbate, he can play with your balls, rub your chest, give you kisses, or however else you like it. Some bottoms like it when their top fucks them and their stomach brushes up against the bottom's balls, too. Find out what you like and worth with it.
While you are masturbating, he may even want to pull out and stop fucking you for a while. Sometimes having a dick in the bottom's ass makes it a bit harder to cum. He can finger you or otherwise work on you, and when you start getting close to cumming he can climb back inside you and start pumping again.
Don't be afraid to start simple, either. This may take a bit of practice between the two of you. There's nothing wrong with sitting on his dick while you jack off, then in the next session trying it again in such a way that he can pump you while you masturbate. Once you are able to cum more regularly, then work his orgasms back into the mixture. Who knows? With a bit of luck and practice you two may even learn to have simultaneous orgasms. You'll find that to be majorly hot. : )
