What do you think about couples getting together?
January 21, 2008
I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for over two years. I don't want to have sex as often as he does. He recently met another couple online and we both like them a lot. They've been together several years and have been monogamous. We all want to get together and have a weekend of sex. What advice do you have for us? And is this a good idea for two couples in love?
A fourway can be fun, but don't expect the encounter to solve your problem. You won’t rid your lover of his excess libido unless you get together with the other couple each week, and in that case your relationship is going to take on totally new issues. I’m not saying don’t do it, I’m just reminding you that you’re going to have to address the issue when you’re done.
Getting together with another couple can be a lot of fun if everyone is attracted to each other. In contrast it is a bad idea to get together if one couple only feels an attraction to one person in the other couple, or even if one couple likes one partner considerably more than the other. Communication and openness is important as well, both when you are with the other couple, and when you return home afterward.
Precisely what sort of relationship you want with the other couple will determine how you go about meeting them. If the two of you both sluts at heart and don’t want any sort of relationship, just meet up with the other couple and bang 'em. That’s not the most healthy option, but it is one that is immediate and with few strings attached.
If you want to develop something more long-term with the other couple but with plenty of exit opportunities, I suggest meeting them for coffee first. Arrange to get together platonically for an hour in a public place. Once you leave you and your lover can decide if you wan to get together. Drop them an e-mail or write them a letter at that point letting them know how you want to proceed. They should be doing the same for you in return. I suggest a letter over a phone call because it’s a lot easier than telling someone to their face you’re not interested if that is the case. If both couples said they’ll call each other, one or both may wind up blowing off the other rather than saying directly they are not interested. E-mails are psychologically ore distant and so are easier to use for honest communication.
Assuming you both want to play together, I suggest meeting in one home or the other for two hours the next meeting. Divide the time into four thirty-minute "sessions". The first involves everyone in bed together getting to know each others’ bodies and playing in a friendly fashion. The second session involves pairing off with one of the guys from the other couple. You are welcome to have as much sex with him if you’d like, and you should feel free to cum if you’d like. Get to know him and play with him all you’d like. Then swap partners and play with the other guy for a while. Finally everyone joins back up in the bed for a grand finale with special focus being on anyone who hasn’t cum yet or wants to do so again. Dividing the time up this way gives everyone a chance to judge each other without the interfering presence of their (and your) partner, but in short enough time periods that the encounters shouldn’t be too awkard if the chemistry isn’t there. And again, an exchange of e-mails after the session will provide a great deal of honest communication.
Assuming everyone had a great time, further sessions can either follow this formula at the same or greater amounts of time, or can just involve a giant fourway. You can even be creative and conduct sessions where three of you gangbang the fourth. The possibilities are only limited by the creativity and needs of the four of you.
But as I said, these fourways are more for fun and enjoyment rather than a solution to any issues in your relationships. They will not necessarily bring you closer to your lover, and in fact may drive you apart. So only enter into an arrangement like this if you are very secure in your relationship. And in your case that’s going to involve addressing the sexual imbalance between yourself and your lover.
Getting together with another couple can be a lot of fun if everyone is attracted to each other. In contrast it is a bad idea to get together if one couple only feels an attraction to one person in the other couple, or even if one couple likes one partner considerably more than the other. Communication and openness is important as well, both when you are with the other couple, and when you return home afterward.
Precisely what sort of relationship you want with the other couple will determine how you go about meeting them. If the two of you both sluts at heart and don’t want any sort of relationship, just meet up with the other couple and bang 'em. That’s not the most healthy option, but it is one that is immediate and with few strings attached.
If you want to develop something more long-term with the other couple but with plenty of exit opportunities, I suggest meeting them for coffee first. Arrange to get together platonically for an hour in a public place. Once you leave you and your lover can decide if you wan to get together. Drop them an e-mail or write them a letter at that point letting them know how you want to proceed. They should be doing the same for you in return. I suggest a letter over a phone call because it’s a lot easier than telling someone to their face you’re not interested if that is the case. If both couples said they’ll call each other, one or both may wind up blowing off the other rather than saying directly they are not interested. E-mails are psychologically ore distant and so are easier to use for honest communication.
Assuming you both want to play together, I suggest meeting in one home or the other for two hours the next meeting. Divide the time into four thirty-minute "sessions". The first involves everyone in bed together getting to know each others’ bodies and playing in a friendly fashion. The second session involves pairing off with one of the guys from the other couple. You are welcome to have as much sex with him if you’d like, and you should feel free to cum if you’d like. Get to know him and play with him all you’d like. Then swap partners and play with the other guy for a while. Finally everyone joins back up in the bed for a grand finale with special focus being on anyone who hasn’t cum yet or wants to do so again. Dividing the time up this way gives everyone a chance to judge each other without the interfering presence of their (and your) partner, but in short enough time periods that the encounters shouldn’t be too awkard if the chemistry isn’t there. And again, an exchange of e-mails after the session will provide a great deal of honest communication.
Assuming everyone had a great time, further sessions can either follow this formula at the same or greater amounts of time, or can just involve a giant fourway. You can even be creative and conduct sessions where three of you gangbang the fourth. The possibilities are only limited by the creativity and needs of the four of you.
But as I said, these fourways are more for fun and enjoyment rather than a solution to any issues in your relationships. They will not necessarily bring you closer to your lover, and in fact may drive you apart. So only enter into an arrangement like this if you are very secure in your relationship. And in your case that’s going to involve addressing the sexual imbalance between yourself and your lover.
