How can I meet younger guys in my area?
January 21, 2008
Aaron, I am a 39-year old, small-statured, white, masculine male who likes younger guys. The problem is that I live in a rural area and find it hard to meet someone. I do not like bars or bookstores. How can I find some action and how do you know when a guy is interested?
You do have a trouble, don't you? You're 39 and like "younger guys", which I'm guessing to be under 30. That can be tough enough for some people, but you're also in a rural area and discounting bars or bookstores. Definitely not an easy situation! Have to talked about it with your gay friends? Perhaps they can offer a few suggestions. (And if you don't have any, I'd say that's half your trouble! It's MUCH more difficult to meet guys when you don't have gay friends).
Fortunately, by writing to me you've already proved you're on the 'net. That's one way to meet people. Chat rooms and personal ads can work well for some people, although you'll find that luck does follow people who purposely tip it in their favor through persistence. Post lots of ads, for example, and visit chat rooms at different times on different days. Having one or two failed ads or chatroom visits isn't unusual. Some people spend weeks at a time without a great deal of success, only to strike it rich when they least expect it.
Being creative can also help, too. Posting nude pictures of yourself on amateur porn galleries on the web can get you all sorts of interesting responses. Also, consider traveling beyond your area. Perhaps you can arrange to meet someone while you're on vacation.
More than tips in meeting people, you might want to ponder just what you're meeting them for. You said you don't like bars or bookstores, which suggests that you want to meet someone for a relationship, but you end your note by asking where to find guys for "action", meaning sex. It's no problem looking for guys for either (or both), but what you're looking for will determine your approach.
You may also want to reconsider bars again. If you go to the local gay dance club with the loud techno music (or whatever they play these days, I confess I try to avoid them as well), you may find you have some difficulty meeting people. But a quiet, laid back gay neighborhood-style bar may be much more your speed. Take a friend along and shoot a few games of pool. Make a hobby of it for a few weeks. You never know when you may meet someone special.
Your second question is too vague to answer with any precision. I don't know if you're looking for guys for sex or romance, and I don't know the situation in which you're meeting the person. Discerning romantic intent via e-mail is completely different from picking someone up for sex at a friend's party. There is a rule of thumb though that generally works in determining interest. Place yourself in situations where you can spend time with the person. If he's interested, he'll accept.
Fortunately, by writing to me you've already proved you're on the 'net. That's one way to meet people. Chat rooms and personal ads can work well for some people, although you'll find that luck does follow people who purposely tip it in their favor through persistence. Post lots of ads, for example, and visit chat rooms at different times on different days. Having one or two failed ads or chatroom visits isn't unusual. Some people spend weeks at a time without a great deal of success, only to strike it rich when they least expect it.
Being creative can also help, too. Posting nude pictures of yourself on amateur porn galleries on the web can get you all sorts of interesting responses. Also, consider traveling beyond your area. Perhaps you can arrange to meet someone while you're on vacation.
More than tips in meeting people, you might want to ponder just what you're meeting them for. You said you don't like bars or bookstores, which suggests that you want to meet someone for a relationship, but you end your note by asking where to find guys for "action", meaning sex. It's no problem looking for guys for either (or both), but what you're looking for will determine your approach.
You may also want to reconsider bars again. If you go to the local gay dance club with the loud techno music (or whatever they play these days, I confess I try to avoid them as well), you may find you have some difficulty meeting people. But a quiet, laid back gay neighborhood-style bar may be much more your speed. Take a friend along and shoot a few games of pool. Make a hobby of it for a few weeks. You never know when you may meet someone special.
Your second question is too vague to answer with any precision. I don't know if you're looking for guys for sex or romance, and I don't know the situation in which you're meeting the person. Discerning romantic intent via e-mail is completely different from picking someone up for sex at a friend's party. There is a rule of thumb though that generally works in determining interest. Place yourself in situations where you can spend time with the person. If he's interested, he'll accept.
