How can I have my boyfriend and my secret lover?
January 19, 2008
I am 24 years old and have been with my partner for four years. We don't really have sex very often any more except when we have threesomes/group sex. I have recently met an older guy (40) on the net and have had sex with him, and am considering starting a second relationship with him. Do you think this would work? My partner is really laid back but I still don't think I could tell him about the other guy. My partner is the one who doesn't want sex that much. I want loads, what do you think?
I think your relationship is in major trouble. You guys are barely having sex, and you're having an affair behind your partner's back? Not a good thing to do if you want to keep seeing him. I'm not sure why you are debating about starting a relationship with this other guy. If you're sleeping with him then you already have. It's just a question of what you do with that relationship from this point on.
Give some serious thought as to what you want. If you want to work things out with your lover and get your sex life back on track, you're going to need to sit down with him and do some heavy communicating. Not to mention ditch the affair! If you'd rather...how did you put it? "Have loads," then you might as well break it off and save both of you some serious trouble. It's one thing to play together, but it's a completely different thing to keep this affair going. And you're not playing for any other reason than you're dissatisfied with your love life. That's not a valid excuse for screwing around.
I don't want to sound moralizing, but you can't be the loving boyfriend and have your affair at the same time. Pick what you'd rather be, and forget the other. Till that point you're cheating just like any other guest on the Jerry Springer show.
Give some serious thought as to what you want. If you want to work things out with your lover and get your sex life back on track, you're going to need to sit down with him and do some heavy communicating. Not to mention ditch the affair! If you'd rather...how did you put it? "Have loads," then you might as well break it off and save both of you some serious trouble. It's one thing to play together, but it's a completely different thing to keep this affair going. And you're not playing for any other reason than you're dissatisfied with your love life. That's not a valid excuse for screwing around.
I don't want to sound moralizing, but you can't be the loving boyfriend and have your affair at the same time. Pick what you'd rather be, and forget the other. Till that point you're cheating just like any other guest on the Jerry Springer show.
