How should I handle confusion about my sexuality?
January 20, 2008
I'm a good-looking 18 year-old guy who has been dating girls since freshman year in high school. For the past couple of years, I've been turned on by guys at my school and gay porn. I've had cybersex with guys a number of times. No one knows this. The furthest I've gone with a girl was oral sex. I love my current girlfriend, but we are just not hitting it off physically anymore. I now have the opportunity to meet and "play" with a 20-something guy I met on the internet who lives here in town. We chatted on the 'net for awhile and have been talking on the phone consistently for a few weeks, sometimes having phone sex, sometimes just chatting. Now he wants to meet and have oral sex. Getting my cock sucked again sounds thrilling but I'm unsure about blowing him. He's said it's all right if I just jack him off. My question is, should I be even thinking about this? If my girlfriend is fulfilling me in every area but physically, is it natural to want to have this guy suck my cock? What should I do?
You, my friend, are officially a guy who is questioning his sexuality. As such, you are entitled to explore your sexuality however you would like. It's perfectly fine if you'd like to get together with your online buddy and have sex. He seems very understanding that you're not sure how far you want to go sexually, so he will probably be a good person for you to experiment with. As you gain more experience you can decide whether you want to continue sleeping with men, women, or both.
There is one catch though. While you are entitled to explore your sexuality like any other human being, you do have an obligation to make sure that no one else gets hurt in the process. This includes both medically and emotionally. So if you're going to play with your online friend, then be very safe about it. It's not acceptable for you to bring back an STD and give it to your girlfriend because you decided not to play safely. Similarly, it's not fair for you to string out your girlfriend for months on end while you play with every boytoy on campus. : )
So by all means, go ahead and experiment. There's no harm in doing so. Lots of guys spend their high school years having sex with women, only later to make the switch to guys. But don't steamroll over your girlfriend in the process. Sex and sexuality is part of any romantic relationship. If you decide you are not able to share this with your girlfriend, then you have an obligation to let her go and find someone that can give 110% to her.
There is one catch though. While you are entitled to explore your sexuality like any other human being, you do have an obligation to make sure that no one else gets hurt in the process. This includes both medically and emotionally. So if you're going to play with your online friend, then be very safe about it. It's not acceptable for you to bring back an STD and give it to your girlfriend because you decided not to play safely. Similarly, it's not fair for you to string out your girlfriend for months on end while you play with every boytoy on campus. : )
So by all means, go ahead and experiment. There's no harm in doing so. Lots of guys spend their high school years having sex with women, only later to make the switch to guys. But don't steamroll over your girlfriend in the process. Sex and sexuality is part of any romantic relationship. If you decide you are not able to share this with your girlfriend, then you have an obligation to let her go and find someone that can give 110% to her.
