Is my relationship with a married man doomed?
January 20, 2008
I am a 36 year-old white male who is involved with a 25 year-old married Mexican male with a kid. Sex is great and he is only married to get his "papers" Our relationship has grown even more passionate and open. He kisses me & holds my hand in public which is very unusual for a Latino male to do. I am confused whether to maintain a relationship with him knowing that he is married or call it off and just stay friends. I honestly believe that this is the man I would like to settle down with, and from what I gather from him the feeling is mutual.
You have me wondering if his wife knows about why he married her and about your relationship. I'd say whether she knows or not is a pretty good idea about his intentions. On one hand he seems to care about and enjoy being with you, but on the other hand he is perfectly capable of entering a relationship and manipulating someone's feelings for his own personal ends. If she knows about the two of you, then I'd say you should go right ahead and proceed with the relationship. But if he hides you from her because he is worried she might divorce him and he would not gain citizenship, then you may want to seriously question whether this is the sort of person you want to be involved in.
Either way, talk to your lover. Find out how long he plans on staying married to her. And if he is only married to her for immigration reasons, why did they have a kid together? I can see him going either way with his relationship. Perhaps his answers will illuminate his intentions but in either case you'll have some waiting to do if you want to transform your relationship into a traditional gay one.
Either way, talk to your lover. Find out how long he plans on staying married to her. And if he is only married to her for immigration reasons, why did they have a kid together? I can see him going either way with his relationship. Perhaps his answers will illuminate his intentions but in either case you'll have some waiting to do if you want to transform your relationship into a traditional gay one.
