What advice on bottoming can you tell me?
January 20, 2008
I am a 32 year old guy and I have noticed that in the last ten years of my life, When I first started as a gay young man, I tried anal sex with a really nice older gentleman who was happy and anxious to introduce me to the joys of anal sex (me on the receiving end). He was really huge and thick and was able to penetrate me without much foreplay and lube. Now I find that my current lover's modest 5 1/2 inches beautifly-shaped cock causes me so much pain and discomfort and he can barely get through my inner sphincter. It just does not open wide enough to allow full entry and pleasure. My questions are:
1) Do people's anus ever shrink?
2) I count the number of times I got poked before my current lover as 4 times because I have always been a top (well 99% of the time). Now I want to be a bottom for my current lover because we love each other very much and I want him to poke me too. Could the first 4 encounters of my life have damaged my anus so much that I can never get back to the diameter I was first poked?
3) Could the narrowed anal diameter I am experiencing now be a symptom of something more sinister like cancer of the anus or what have you?
4)I have tried stretching the anus with a dildo that is smaller sized than my current beau's size. What should be the frequency of stretching, do I need rest periods in between?
1) Do people's anus ever shrink?
2) I count the number of times I got poked before my current lover as 4 times because I have always been a top (well 99% of the time). Now I want to be a bottom for my current lover because we love each other very much and I want him to poke me too. Could the first 4 encounters of my life have damaged my anus so much that I can never get back to the diameter I was first poked?
3) Could the narrowed anal diameter I am experiencing now be a symptom of something more sinister like cancer of the anus or what have you?
4)I have tried stretching the anus with a dildo that is smaller sized than my current beau's size. What should be the frequency of stretching, do I need rest periods in between?
You have four questions? I have four answers: "No", "No", "No", and "what a strange question!"
Seriously though, your sphincter muscles in your anus do not normally shrink. If anything they actually relax over time. If there was any reason why your anus might have changed significantly over the years, you'd know it. For example, if you had surgery on your sphincter muscles, or if you were in a car accident and wound up with the tailpipe of a Chevy Nova sticking out of your ass.
As for your last question, there isn't a formal answer to that question. Working your ass with a dildo isn't exactly physical therapy. At least your HMO certainly won't cover it! The stretching effect you get from working with a dildo is mostly gone within a few hours, and certainly within a day or two. What is important isn't as much the stretching effect, as it is teaching your muscles how to relax.
So if you want to learn how to be a bottom, buy yourself several dildos that are smaller, equal, and slightly larger than your lover's dick. Fuck yourself with them as you jack off. Then have your lover try working you with them. Do it laying on your back, sitting up, bending over, and in any other position you can think of. Have your lover help you with it - this certainly isn't an exercise for you alone! As you learn how to relax your muscles and to enjoy sex, your confidence will also increase. And when the day finally comes that your lover decides to take a ride in your butt, you will be surprised just how easily you'll be able to take it... and how good it feels when you do.
Seriously though, your sphincter muscles in your anus do not normally shrink. If anything they actually relax over time. If there was any reason why your anus might have changed significantly over the years, you'd know it. For example, if you had surgery on your sphincter muscles, or if you were in a car accident and wound up with the tailpipe of a Chevy Nova sticking out of your ass.
As for your last question, there isn't a formal answer to that question. Working your ass with a dildo isn't exactly physical therapy. At least your HMO certainly won't cover it! The stretching effect you get from working with a dildo is mostly gone within a few hours, and certainly within a day or two. What is important isn't as much the stretching effect, as it is teaching your muscles how to relax.
So if you want to learn how to be a bottom, buy yourself several dildos that are smaller, equal, and slightly larger than your lover's dick. Fuck yourself with them as you jack off. Then have your lover try working you with them. Do it laying on your back, sitting up, bending over, and in any other position you can think of. Have your lover help you with it - this certainly isn't an exercise for you alone! As you learn how to relax your muscles and to enjoy sex, your confidence will also increase. And when the day finally comes that your lover decides to take a ride in your butt, you will be surprised just how easily you'll be able to take it... and how good it feels when you do.
