How can I get a guy to do more than just jack off?
January 20, 2008
I just met a new guy and we seem to have hit it off real good. But he only wants to watch me jack off, but no touching, kissing, etc. I really like this guy and he is great looking, but is this carrying safe sex to an extreme? I am ready for more physical contact what can I do?
I have two theories on this one, but since I don't know the guy I'm not sure which is correct. The first is that he's paranoid about STDs and ways to play it extremely safe. If that's the case, then I wouldn't call him paranoid. We all take risks that we are comfortable with. Some bareback on a regular basis, some get fucked with condoms, some use condoms for oral sex, and some people prefer masturbation or even celibacy. Chances are he is a bit overcautious because of his fears of HIV, but with time and patience he'll come around.
It could also be the exact reverse - he has an STD that he is afraid to pass on to you.
The other possibility is that he's not ready to do more. Many men, especially young men, who are new to sex go through phases of wanting to do little more than just masturbate or watch someone jackoff. If he is going through this, then he will need to work through this by building trust in you. Putting mild pressure on him is acceptable, especially if you do so in an educational manner. Don't make him feel uncomfortable though, or else he's going to retreat further into his shell.
In both cases it may take him a while before he is comfortable to do more. Have a talk with him and express your concerns. Learn what you can about his reasoning. Perhaps things will change in doing so. If not, and if you grow tired of waiting for him, then don't hesitate to move on and find someone else. He may not be too happy about it, but he made his decision to proceed slowly. If you prefer not waiting, then it's best the two of you part ways and seek other relationships.
It could also be the exact reverse - he has an STD that he is afraid to pass on to you.
The other possibility is that he's not ready to do more. Many men, especially young men, who are new to sex go through phases of wanting to do little more than just masturbate or watch someone jackoff. If he is going through this, then he will need to work through this by building trust in you. Putting mild pressure on him is acceptable, especially if you do so in an educational manner. Don't make him feel uncomfortable though, or else he's going to retreat further into his shell.
In both cases it may take him a while before he is comfortable to do more. Have a talk with him and express your concerns. Learn what you can about his reasoning. Perhaps things will change in doing so. If not, and if you grow tired of waiting for him, then don't hesitate to move on and find someone else. He may not be too happy about it, but he made his decision to proceed slowly. If you prefer not waiting, then it's best the two of you part ways and seek other relationships.
Comment by Anonymous on January 20, 2008
Just a comment about the guy who only likes to jack off for his buddy. There's a third possible explanation: maybe he's an exhibitionist (only). I've got this 22-y.o. "bud" who's truly hot (big dick, nice bod, boyface), but he's married and he just likes to indulge this one aspect of his desires on the side. He likes to show it off to an appreciative audience so I'm happy to be that.