How can I open up for a really big dick?
January 20, 2008
I've been dating my boyfriend for the past 4 months and everything is great between us and we're both totally in love. However there's one thing that is getting to me. I'm 19 and very inexperienced with sex with another man, while my boyfriend is 24 and a very experienced top. Though he never complains and is very patient I sense that he would like nothing more but to fuck me. I am very willing to allow him to do so but I have a number of concerns. My first, is the size of his cock. It's at least 8.5" and thick. I'm terrified that it's going to be extremely painful and cause some real damage to my insides. I'd like to know how to make it more comfortable and enjoyable when he fucks me.
In a previous question I addressed a fellow with a thick dick that wanted to fuck his lover. Now we have the reverse - guys that want to take their lover's unusually large dick. It ain't easy, but it can be fun. If the two of you are willing to work together through this, that is. As with most sexual challenges, working together is far more likely to result in success than if one partner tries to solve the problem on his own.
Before you start working yourself up to being fucked by a big dick, you should keep in mind that we all have our physical limits. There will come a time where a dick is simply too big or uncomfortable to take. Limits are not always set in stone, either. They are flexible, and the bigger the dick, the less chance you have of the sex being completely rewarding for both partners. So don't go into a bottoming session with a huge dick expecting instant gratification. It can be a lot of fun, and I mean a LOT) of fun. But it can also be equally painful, uncomfortable, and unrewarding for both parties.
Know too that pain isn't necessarily bad. It is your body's way of saying something isn't right. If you can relax you muscles, change your position, or otherwise solve the difficulty without resorting to using drugs, then your body should be fine and not subject to harm. As in the case here, being fucked by a big dick isn't going to seriously harm you as long as you are sober and respect your body's limits. This goes for being fucked by even huge dicks. As long as your body can do it without pain, you aren't harming yourself.
Of course, making the feeling not be painful is the challenge. If your partner has a huge dick and you are unsure of you ability to take it, the goal is not to be fucked wildly. The goal isn't even for him to be able to cream inside you. The goal here is for you to see whether you can even be fucked by someone of that size without it hurting, and whether it can be pleasurable for you to do so. I don't care what size the dick is, if it doesn't feel good to be a bottom, you shouldn't be doing it.
So talk this over with your lover, and when he is ready to help you learn whether you can take it, have him climb into bed with you and begin playing with your ass. He can rim you, put lots of lube on you, and generally slide his fingers in and out of you. Have him do this while he sucks on your dick, licks your nipples, or whatever else drives you wild. Remember that you want to be as relaxed and excited as possible. If you are nervous, tense, or unsure of yourself then you should not even try to proceed.
Once you are ready to begin, try having him fuck you in the side-by-side ("spoon") position. It's a good position for beginners. Don't focus on him pumping his dick in and out of you. Just concentrate on how much of his dick you can take inside you. And don't worry that it takes you several tries before he can go more than an inch or two. An immediate burst of discomfort or pain is common at first. After three or four attempts to enter you the pain should fade away into a rather pleasant feeling of being filled by a huge cock.
Once he is completely in you, just relax and enjoy the feeling. Try having your partner roll onto his back with his cock still inside you. This will pull your lower body over him. Even before he begins to pump, try jacking off in this position. He can either masturbate you or you can do it yourself while his hands touch your body. As you get excited and closer to your orgasm, he can begin pumping you a bit.
Remember that the goal here isn't for him to cum inside you. It is for you to discover if you can be fucked without it hurting. If you have made it this far, you will probably be able to cum while he is inside you. Go ahead - blow your load and enjoy it. Then let him slide out and take care of himself, or wait until you are ready to help him get off. You will probably feel the need to use the bathroom for a few minutes. That's quite all right, and you should do whatever your body needs.
In a few days try this exercise again. As you two become more experienced with anal sex, you will be able to incorporate more and more of the top's desires to fuck into the encounter. Eventually you will be confident enough to shift into new positions. Keep in mind that each one will require that you readjust to the new feelings. Just because he was banging your brains out in one position doesn't mean it won't hurt immensely in another. Go slowly and let your body discover it's own pace.
At some point you will invariably discover your limits. That's fine - we all have them. Once you realize your limit, don't be afraid to assert them. There are plenty of other things you can do in bed together. The important thing is that you always respect the limits of your partner, and that you always strive to work around them to have the most enjoyable time possible.
One final note. After being fucked by a big dick (or even a small one for that matter), you may notice a few traces of blood on you. Don't worry about it - this is fairly common after being fucked. As long as you are not seeing large amounts of blood you should be fine. If the traces of blood are still there after four days, then you should go see your doctor to make sure everything is fine. Usually the traces will vanish within a few hours.
There's always more to learn about sex, but that should be enough to get you started. Have fun and good luck!
Before you start working yourself up to being fucked by a big dick, you should keep in mind that we all have our physical limits. There will come a time where a dick is simply too big or uncomfortable to take. Limits are not always set in stone, either. They are flexible, and the bigger the dick, the less chance you have of the sex being completely rewarding for both partners. So don't go into a bottoming session with a huge dick expecting instant gratification. It can be a lot of fun, and I mean a LOT) of fun. But it can also be equally painful, uncomfortable, and unrewarding for both parties.
Know too that pain isn't necessarily bad. It is your body's way of saying something isn't right. If you can relax you muscles, change your position, or otherwise solve the difficulty without resorting to using drugs, then your body should be fine and not subject to harm. As in the case here, being fucked by a big dick isn't going to seriously harm you as long as you are sober and respect your body's limits. This goes for being fucked by even huge dicks. As long as your body can do it without pain, you aren't harming yourself.
Of course, making the feeling not be painful is the challenge. If your partner has a huge dick and you are unsure of you ability to take it, the goal is not to be fucked wildly. The goal isn't even for him to be able to cream inside you. The goal here is for you to see whether you can even be fucked by someone of that size without it hurting, and whether it can be pleasurable for you to do so. I don't care what size the dick is, if it doesn't feel good to be a bottom, you shouldn't be doing it.
So talk this over with your lover, and when he is ready to help you learn whether you can take it, have him climb into bed with you and begin playing with your ass. He can rim you, put lots of lube on you, and generally slide his fingers in and out of you. Have him do this while he sucks on your dick, licks your nipples, or whatever else drives you wild. Remember that you want to be as relaxed and excited as possible. If you are nervous, tense, or unsure of yourself then you should not even try to proceed.
Once you are ready to begin, try having him fuck you in the side-by-side ("spoon") position. It's a good position for beginners. Don't focus on him pumping his dick in and out of you. Just concentrate on how much of his dick you can take inside you. And don't worry that it takes you several tries before he can go more than an inch or two. An immediate burst of discomfort or pain is common at first. After three or four attempts to enter you the pain should fade away into a rather pleasant feeling of being filled by a huge cock.
Once he is completely in you, just relax and enjoy the feeling. Try having your partner roll onto his back with his cock still inside you. This will pull your lower body over him. Even before he begins to pump, try jacking off in this position. He can either masturbate you or you can do it yourself while his hands touch your body. As you get excited and closer to your orgasm, he can begin pumping you a bit.
Remember that the goal here isn't for him to cum inside you. It is for you to discover if you can be fucked without it hurting. If you have made it this far, you will probably be able to cum while he is inside you. Go ahead - blow your load and enjoy it. Then let him slide out and take care of himself, or wait until you are ready to help him get off. You will probably feel the need to use the bathroom for a few minutes. That's quite all right, and you should do whatever your body needs.
In a few days try this exercise again. As you two become more experienced with anal sex, you will be able to incorporate more and more of the top's desires to fuck into the encounter. Eventually you will be confident enough to shift into new positions. Keep in mind that each one will require that you readjust to the new feelings. Just because he was banging your brains out in one position doesn't mean it won't hurt immensely in another. Go slowly and let your body discover it's own pace.
At some point you will invariably discover your limits. That's fine - we all have them. Once you realize your limit, don't be afraid to assert them. There are plenty of other things you can do in bed together. The important thing is that you always respect the limits of your partner, and that you always strive to work around them to have the most enjoyable time possible.
One final note. After being fucked by a big dick (or even a small one for that matter), you may notice a few traces of blood on you. Don't worry about it - this is fairly common after being fucked. As long as you are not seeing large amounts of blood you should be fine. If the traces of blood are still there after four days, then you should go see your doctor to make sure everything is fine. Usually the traces will vanish within a few hours.
There's always more to learn about sex, but that should be enough to get you started. Have fun and good luck!
Comment by Anonymous on January 20, 2008
No question here! Just a comment about your recent advice vis-a-vis bottoms taking large dicks. Tell people to breathe. Breathing, like in yoga or meditation, is the best way to relax the body. Also for guys who have a hard time taking big dicks, tell them to get on top first and sit on the other guy's dick so that they have control over how much of it they take in at once. Just some suggestions from an experienced bottom.