AdviceGeek

Speaking as someone who has both hired escorts and been hired as one, you're crazy to be using rentboys as a way to find a romantic relationship. In my case, my lover and I were dating long before I became an escort. It put us on a even footing when setting the ground rules for my career.

To answer your question, yes, it is possible for clients to enter romantic long-term relationships with their escorts. But it's extraordinarily rare, and even then it usually lasts for a few years at the most. Why? For a lot of reasons.

- Escorts (good ones, at least) put the needs of the client before their own. Their own needs take a backseat to the money they are being paid. This creates the illusion of the escort as the perfect lover, when in fact the client isn't getting to know him at all.

- Like in the movie Pretty Woman, clients usually expect the escort to quit their job once they fall in love. In reality, escorts are often in the business for more than money. They escort for excitement and esteem as well. So most client-escort romantic relationships are headed for a fight when the client wants the escort to quit his job.

- Many clients try to "buy out" the escort from the business in the form of an ongoing payment not to work. This is called a "sugar daddy" and the relationship is filled with its own issues as well.

- There is usually a significant age difference between clients and escorts. Like most intergenerational relationships, the two partners are at different points in their lives and often want different things. Intergenerational relationships can work, but it's difficult at best.

All in all, escorts are a great way to spend an evening having an intimately good time. Good escorts are "instant boyfriends", but are only temporary in nature. To confuse an escort-client relationship with a real romantic one is asking for trouble at best. —Aaron Lawrence

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A foot fetish isn't uncommon by any means, although it's not standard play either. As such, springing a foot fetish on a partner is likely to lead to the impromptu reactions that you have experienced. So let's try another approach.

If I were in your place, I'd do two things. First, I'd let them know about my foot fetish while everyone's clothing is still on. Ideally before you're making out in the bedroom. That way he has time to process it and, if he can't handle it, gives him a chance to back out politely. Yeah, it sucks to lose a trick over such matters, but it beats the hell out of having him freak out in bed when you blow your load all over his lovely toes.

I'd try saying something like, "mind if I let you in on a little secret?" And when he says "sure", then tell him about your foot fetish. Stress that isn't not the end-all, be-all of sex for you (unless it is!), but that it's a fun part of sex that turns you on wildly. Tell him that if he doesn't mind you'd love to play with his toes for a while. He doesn't have to do anything to your feet in return (unless he wants to, of course), but it would just get you hot to suck on his toes and like the soles of his foot.

I'd also start looking for guys in ways that you can be up front about your foot fetish. Put it in your profile on Manhunt, for example. Attend a gay foot fetish party. For the life of me, I couldn't find a good personals website for guys into feet, but I'll bet one exists out there. Perhaps my readers can recommend one?

Finally, I'd suggest you choose your words carefully when talking to a non-foot-fetish guy. Describing your foot fetish to him is a bit like explaining the appeal of gay sex to a straight guy. And while you may love the smell of feet, that's like trying to convince the straight guy that dick smells great. We're oddly afraid of our sense of smell in that regards. So until someone gains your trust you may want to explain your fetish in terms of sucking toes rather than smelling feet.—Aaron Lawrence

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In my column I am routinely asked three questions. The first two are "How can I make my dick bigger?" and "How do I have anal sex without making a mess?". You are asking the third: "How do I get fucked without it hurting?" Here is the patented Aaron plan to help you get fucked by big dicks without being broken in two.

Step One: Find a good top. That means someone you are attracted to, someone you are comfortable being with, and ideally someone that is skilled at being a gentle top. Having lots of experience isn’t required, but having the right attitude and style in bed is.

Step Two: Fuck yourself with several dildos, both smaller, equal, and slightly larger in size than your top’s dick. Spend several sessions penetrating yourself with them. If you can relax enough to take one slightly larger than his dick, you probably can take him.

Step Three: Have your lover play with your ass with lube and his fingers. Have him spend a long time really working over your ass. If you are really relaxed and comfortable, the feeling should be pleasurable.

Step Four: Have your lover fuck you with the dildos from step two. Tell him what they feel like and when they begin feeling uncomfortable. Your lover needs to learn how to read your reactions. Fucking you with toys can be a good way to do this.

Step Five: Lay on your side and have your lover lay on his side behind you. He can slowly slide his dick into you. Side-by-side fucking is a great position for beginners. Your lover should keep in mind that he is fucking you to help you be comfortable with the feelings, not so he can shoot a hot load in your ass. Over several sessions if you become comfortable with being fucked he can gradually start adding his own needs to the mixture.

Give those steps a try and I’ll bet that they help. It may still not be enough. At some point you may have to face facts that your anatomy just isn't designed to be fucked by well-endowed tops. Most people can do it but "most" ain't "all." Should you discover that you’re just not built for being fucked by ten-inchers, then look for other activities the two of you can enjoy.—Aaron Lawrence

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